This is my first post.  In a way, I feel like I'm in the opening scene of the first "Sex In the City" episode, except, I'm not in New York, I'm not single, I'm not a writer, and I certainly don't look like Carrie Bradshaw or have her shoe collection!  Instead, I'm a mother of two beautiful girls, a wife to a pretty fabulous husband, an ex-corporate player, living in the 'burbs of Shanghai.

My daughters and I arrived in Shanghai on July 15th, this year.  My husband had been here since the beginning of April, working in this new position.  So it was good that we came early, despite many advising that we come later, closer to the beginning of school in mid-August.  I didn't know what to expect.  How does one know what one doesn't know?  I'm not the type of person who does a lot of research before plunging into things anyways.  What was fascinating to me was the multitude of Asian faces!  Yes, I AM in China, but as an Asian American, I'm not used to seeing everyone looking like me.  I blend in, almost too much!  When the locals start speaking to me Mandarin, I panic and shut down.  At times, I feel invisible, blending in the scenery, invisible to foreigners.

I'm sure all new expats feel as lost as I do.  My girls are settled into their new school, a place they really enjoy, have made a few really good friends.  They know that they are loved.  My husband is thriving in his new job for the most part, weeding through the struggles of doing business in a new culture.  But, I feel lost.  Living in what some refer to as "Pu-jersey" is not what it's cracked up to be.   Our decision to move to our current house was done rather hastily, based on what "most" Americans do.  Over the last two months, I've realized I'm not like "most" Americans, my family is not like"most" Americans.  Doing what I'm "supposed" to do has made me an unhappy mom, wife, friend, making me lose control of "me." Yes, I am lost, but I plan to find myself, define who I am, who I want to be, in this new and unfamiliar place.  It is scary and exhilarating.